+July 2005+
+August 2005+
+September 2005+
+June 2006+
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
my life is turning into a lake.....still,calm,relaxed. I mean too still,too calm..too relaxed. there's something inside me which is not coming out. its making me uncomfortable. its like i need to run away somewhere from everything....and find out for what have i come in this world?. i am sure i have come here for something....what is it? why am i so restless about it?. inside the lake there are lots of tiny fishes, making lots of commotion inside.
maybe i am afraid that my life would become monotonous like others....i hate the word conventional...but i can't help ignoring that..i mean life gets too conventional automatically. i don't want to live like this....study hard ..get a good job....reach the age of 25..get married...live a happy married life....live for others...have children...think about them....their future....get over the obstacles of married life and professional life....get old...suffer from old-age diseases...then die.
its conventional and monotonous for me. i want to do somthing different....which would give me satisfaction to have a life ..i mean i want to live a life.....and not flow with it. when you live a life like that i had mentioned above..you just flow with it...you don't live it.....
i will tell you something which i have in my mind...i mean it is too silly.but i want to live a life like that.... i want to gain knowledge about everything....not through a typical education that we r getting..but knowledge about everything around me....knowledge about various cultures..not by studying it ,through books....but by visiting places....living with them...i want to read about ancient books.....i want to have the knowledge that the great philosophers had.....i want to feel the way great philosophers felt....in short i don't want any question to elude me..i want to have answers to each question that has ever been asked and have answer to every doubt that can ever come to a human mind....i want to have such a touch that could make a child smile and free a suffering man from all his pains.. i want to have such a presence which would make things around me peaceful.........
Can't believe i think such things......after all i am still an ordinary girl.....and i want to be a magician. phew! ME! sigh!....
i wish it could be true....actually i want to live the lives of others through mine....
theres no harm in trying... :D
+ [ sanju ] r e m e m b e r agains + 11:29 PM
Friday, September 02, 2005
Life is sooooo beautiful for me.... I love my life...Though I get mad at it sometimes yet in whatever way it comes to me its wonderful. Maybe I still haven't seen enough..Maybe I still haven't gone through difficult situations....But till now its pleasant and comforting....But not satisfying ...
a ride with one of my friend's father made me think twice..That am I living in reality?....He is a reporter..A person who has seen the insanity of life..But believe me he is one of the cutest people I have ever met :) he looks so fatherly...He is like a grizzly bear :)but my friend doesn't support me on this one though... :D
I asked him about one of the field trips he went on...To which he replied " there's nothing interesting in them...You will just not like it" ..But I insisted. so he began with a field trip to some village in some backward district of orissa....i don't really remember the name of the village...."bonga" sounds similar to the name he took :) he said that the people there don't know anything about the world in which we live...they don't even have the basic medical supplies..if someone has fever..they just take some leaves from a medicinal plant and feed the patient and the main fact is that they don't even accept the medicines given to them by the doctors or specialists visiting their village.
the most astonishing thing is the way they treat a pregnant woman....i just don't believe how can people act like this. whenever a woman gets pregnant and is ready to deliver a baby the people don't touch her or even get near her..they just shut her in a room where she fights the pain alone ..screams ..shouts ..cries..but no one pays any heed to her agony...how inhumane...how sick!...and they just give her a chisel to cut the umbilical cord herself...and separate the baby. we have reached the milleniu milestone of human life but ppl still live centuries back. no one in the village realises how dangerous this process is ...how this can kill both the mother and the baby.
but then this is nothing new ...the female part of the society is always given the responsibility of pain ....first god started and is followed by the people he created..
how can this world change if the people around this world are ignorant about things which are necessary to support life? when will the human race realise that life is not living for self but for living for the sake of life....
+ [ sanju ] r e m e m b e r agains + 7:47 AM
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
listen to my utterly idiotic crap :|
it's something very near and dear to me...well...i am going to write about myself!...as i already mentioned in my earlier blog...that in my childhood i was always by myself...i played with myself when no one was near i even taught myself...by writing on the doors...which were a very narrow substitute of blackboards :P i believed immensely in god since i was a lil child....and each year it increases...sometimes i believe that i will become someone like swami vivekanand or gautam buddha :D...though i don't know if i would reach upto their level :) but it's not just dedication to god that i have inside me...it's just pure love...it's just i never imagined that i was alone...i always felt him beside me....and i have always felt him pulling me up from any messy situations.....he just puts me in such situations through which i learn and i practise. i learn from him and i live my life. and that's why it's makes everything a whole lot easier to bear.
maybe i am too much into the feeling called "god" but i just love it to find him beside me...even in my imagination.
+ [ sanju ] r e m e m b e r agains + 12:20 AM
Sunday, July 24, 2005
well this is just a post to start my new blog...which has some info about this particular blog :)
this is blog is highly personal...i mean something nearer to me and my thoughts...unlike my other blog which is mostly based on random thoughts..this blog is esp about things i seriously give a thought about.....
that's why there is no comments page....becoz i don't want any comments..though you can comment on the blog in the tag board ! :D
EnJoY mY nEw BlOg
+ [ sanju ] r e m e m b e r agains + 6:28 AM